اسما
05-23-2007, 04:32 PM
>>LESSON 1
>>A junior manager* a senior manager and their boss are on their way
>>to a meeting. On their way through a park* they come across a
>>wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
>>The ghost says* "Normally* one is granted three wishes but as you
>>are
>>three* I will allow one wish each"
>>So the eager senior manager shouted* "I want the first wish. I want
>>to be in the Bahamas* on a fast boat and have no worries."
>>Pfufffff. and he was gone.
>>Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to
>>be In Florida with beautiful girls* plenty of food and cocktails."
>>Pfufffff. and he was also gone.
>>The boss calmly said* "I want these two idiots back in the office
>>after
>>lunch at 12.35pm."
>>
>>MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
>>
>>
>>LESSON 2
>>Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand*
>>"Listen*" said the CEO* "this is a very sensitive and important
>>document* and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
>>"Certainly*" said the young executive.
>>He turned the machine on* inserted the paper* and pressed the start
>>button.
>>"Excellent* excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared
>>inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
>>
>>LESSON II: "NEVER* NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
>>
>>
>>LESSON 3
>>An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to
>>LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked* "What kind
>>of -ese are you?"
>>The Japanese confused* replied* "Sorry but I don't understand what
>>you mean."
>>The American repeated* "What kind of -ese are you?"
>>Again* the Japanese was confused over he question.
>>The American* now irritated* then yelled* "What kind of -ese are
>>you
>>... Are you a Chinese* Japanese* Vietnamese!* etc......??? "
>>The Japanese then replied* "Oh* I am a Japanese."
>>A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What
>>kind Of 'key' was he.
>>The American* frustrated* yelled* "What do you mean what kind of
>>-kee'am I?!"
>>The Japanese said* "Are you a Yankee* donkee* or monkee?"
>>
>>LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
>>
>>
>>LESSON 4
>>There were these 4 guys* a Russian* a German* an American and a
>>French* who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
>>bottle* a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him
>>out of the bottle* He said* "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools*
>>I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and
>>jump* you shout what you want the pool of water to become* then
>>your wish will come true."
>>The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool* jumped and
>>shouted* "WINE".
>>The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was
>>so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
>>Next is the Russian's turn* he did the same and shouted* "VODKA"
>>and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
>>The German was next and he jumped and
>>shouted* "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
>>The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when
>>suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
>>shouted* "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "
>>
>>LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING* BECAUSE SOMETIMES
>>ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
>>A junior manager* a senior manager and their boss are on their way
>>to a meeting. On their way through a park* they come across a
>>wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
>>The ghost says* "Normally* one is granted three wishes but as you
>>are
>>three* I will allow one wish each"
>>So the eager senior manager shouted* "I want the first wish. I want
>>to be in the Bahamas* on a fast boat and have no worries."
>>Pfufffff. and he was gone.
>>Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to
>>be In Florida with beautiful girls* plenty of food and cocktails."
>>Pfufffff. and he was also gone.
>>The boss calmly said* "I want these two idiots back in the office
>>after
>>lunch at 12.35pm."
>>
>>MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
>>
>>
>>LESSON 2
>>Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand*
>>"Listen*" said the CEO* "this is a very sensitive and important
>>document* and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
>>"Certainly*" said the young executive.
>>He turned the machine on* inserted the paper* and pressed the start
>>button.
>>"Excellent* excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared
>>inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
>>
>>LESSON II: "NEVER* NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
>>
>>
>>LESSON 3
>>An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to
>>LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked* "What kind
>>of -ese are you?"
>>The Japanese confused* replied* "Sorry but I don't understand what
>>you mean."
>>The American repeated* "What kind of -ese are you?"
>>Again* the Japanese was confused over he question.
>>The American* now irritated* then yelled* "What kind of -ese are
>>you
>>... Are you a Chinese* Japanese* Vietnamese!* etc......??? "
>>The Japanese then replied* "Oh* I am a Japanese."
>>A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What
>>kind Of 'key' was he.
>>The American* frustrated* yelled* "What do you mean what kind of
>>-kee'am I?!"
>>The Japanese said* "Are you a Yankee* donkee* or monkee?"
>>
>>LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
>>
>>
>>LESSON 4
>>There were these 4 guys* a Russian* a German* an American and a
>>French* who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
>>bottle* a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him
>>out of the bottle* He said* "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools*
>>I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and
>>jump* you shout what you want the pool of water to become* then
>>your wish will come true."
>>The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool* jumped and
>>shouted* "WINE".
>>The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was
>>so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
>>Next is the Russian's turn* he did the same and shouted* "VODKA"
>>and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
>>The German was next and he jumped and
>>shouted* "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
>>The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when
>>suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
>>shouted* "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "
>>
>>LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING* BECAUSE SOMETIMES
>>ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"